Cricket's call for change

Hardly had Nepali cricket fans recovered from jolt due to ICC confirmation that the next two World Cups will be 10-team events, they were given another shock. The news of a few former national cricketers moving the Supreme Court against the activities of Cricket Association of Nepal has surprised many, at the same time raised quite a few eyebrows too.

Much has already been said by the players and officials from Ireland, the most successful of the associate nations in past two World Cups, along with Scotland, Kenya, Canada and other nations about the associates being shown the exit doors. Whether it moves the money minded ICC or not; Whether it has excluded the 'world' from the World Cup or not; Whether that decision will mar the reputation of cricket across the globe or not, the single decision has killed the aspirations of cricketers from the emerging nations. And that includes Nepali players too.

However, the major disappointment, and one which could have long term bearing on the sport, comes from the players' moving court. The disappointment is not merely that the cricket governing organisation has been challenged. The disappointment is due to the fact that some people deemed it necessary that judiciary be involved in sport.

The petitioners have claimed that CAN has never conducted election of its executive committee and the association lacks financial transparency. They also claim that CAN has been exploiting players. We know that these are modern times and transparency is a must. And exploitation? That's a word we don't even want to hear in the sector.

However, one must admit that not everything is fine in our cricket. Less than five years of the present executive committee taking over, a sense of disenchantment has grown in. Talk to those who've been in the association for several years – the ones who have cricketing background - they'd tell you that the political appointees disturb the work. Talk to the so called political appointees… well, they're never available for cricket talk. They can give you enough on why the government formation is difficult and constitution may never be drafted. Cricket is definitely not on their agenda.

If you talk to the players in the national cricket team, and if they have confidence in you, you do hear some murmurs. Dissatisfaction is there. Complains are there, but they never go on record, to save their career. Maybe CAN authorities have not noticed but that affects their motivation during matches too.

And now CAN has a court case to settle.

Time to worry? Maybe not.

Maybe this is an opportunity for those who really want to clean up cricket to come clean themselves. If everything is fine, this could be an opportunity to say so.  If not, this could be an opportunity to correct it. Transparency has not, and never will hurt development.

On the other hand, a few questions perhaps need to be asked to the plaintiffs. Court should be consulted after every other system fails. Was there no alternative left? Or were they in a hurry to get popular? Or how does it help when some from the plaintiffs openly talk only against the CAN President? Is it only him who runs the show? How do you ensure that this is not being vindictive?

This also raises a question. Could those, who moved court, not have stayed within a system and tried to improve it, rather than challenging the system itself? It is a good idea to get into the system and try to cleanse it. Maybe that helps everyone.

Now these are former cricketers and we should give them due respect. But they also need to prove their motive here. If some of these are included in CAN in near future, will they abandon this 'crusade' as they might like to call it?

The questions are many but the answer is simple. Cricket needs to come clean after all the hullabaloo.

(The article originally appeared in The Kathmandu Post, 9th April, 2011, in a weekly column of Yours Truly)

Joy Forever

Sachin Tendulkar scored his 50th century in Test matches this week. The news made headlines. Of course, the feat deserved it. At one point of time, say only a decade or two ago, it was way beyond anybody’s comprehension that a tally of 50 could ever be reached, especially that modern day cricket was getting more and more competitive. Those who wrote on cricket then would talk of 30s as a benchmark; none could even think that half a century of centuries could actually be accomplished.

So the feat was definitely special, worth printing in gold. But for fans it was something even more. It was an end to their wait, for they were waiting for the genius to reach there. As if some divine being had told them, this is a part of their pre-planned journey – watching Sachin making history.

Right after he scored his milestone ton, one colleague of this scribe asked him, “Don’t you think he’ll play for another five years?” Now take that for a question. And in certain ways, the question itself was an answer. A manifestation of their belief in the man, that stood just 5-foot 5-inches above the ground, yet towering above most of his contemporaries.

For one thing, Sachin Tendulkar would stand above all, that is for gathering the most number of fans across the globe, just the way we see him gathering runs in his pomp.

This scribe, among many of his generation, is one such self-declared a fan of his. The generation that took to adulthood in 1990s – which also included some Nepali cricketers who played in recent times – watched him take his first steps in international scene. The whole generation read as many pieces written on him as possible. For some, it was statistics; for some food for thought; for some a way of learning cricket; while for some, one more topic to talk at the tea stalls. And that would either precede or proceed with the highlights of his innings on TV, which for many of us, were always a ‘masterpiece’. The magazines like ‘The Sportstar’ were the new bible, but any issue that did not carry a story on him was ‘a piece of trash’ and not worth buying.

Growing up in 1990s was not easy. Nepal was an infant democracy, trying to learn how to walk the democratic path. The panchayat era influence on Nepali sports was there, although weakening; the newer controllers were trying to learn how to rein it in; the free market economic policy was the buzzword, although the younger lot were still to grab the concept; the insurgency was just flaring up in some remote part of the country; prices were going up and pocket money was not able to match with those; the curriculum wasn’t getting easier and the career path appeared limited; the IT revolution had started in our neighbourhood and we were not part of it – all enough to keep teenagers frustrated.

But then there was Sachin Tendulkar. In some of the most ferocious strokeplay we’d ever watched, we found peace. With a young boy looks (then he was young as well), and a heavy willow in his hands, he was trying to prove that there was hope, amidst frustration. The mortals suddenly appeared elevated, for there was some heavenly charm in those innings. The 90s had become bearable, despite frustrations it held for so many of us.

Come 2000s, we felt – journalists can be cruel people, especially with their questions. They talked about his decline. They asked him – When would you retire? And as most players, who spend a lot of time with PR coaches these days, he’d skirt away without an answer.

The fans looked sideways to find an actual answer. When there’s a lull in any player’s career, how do we know that he or she will not overcome the slump? Although journalists are quick to write a player off, fans are not.

And celebration of Tendulkar’s innings is vindication of fan’s faith in him. For they knew, it would come. It had to, even if it meant 7 centuries within a year.

And that’s a toast to Sachin Tendulkar, probably the greatest modern day cricketer, who could hold on to his fans, even when he could not do so, at times, with runs.

(The article originally appeared in The Kathmandu Post, 25th December, 2010, in a weekly column of Yours Truly)

Next is What!

A few days ago, a fellow journalist, in a reaction to a facebook posting of mine, asked me a question, “What will happen to Nepali cricket after Roy Dias is gone? Would it collapse along with his farewell?”

A few of my other friends scoffed at it. A few were angry, while a few thought the comment was insane.

What impact can a single man make to the whole sector? A reasonable assessment… Perhaps pragmatic approach… For this approach makes you continue, even after a minor debacle…

A similar story had appeared in an international media few months ago, mocking New Zealand cricket. It said the entire New Zealand cricket would retire, when Daniel Vettori, its captain, decides to call it a day. No doubt, Daniel Vettori has been one of the few things Kiwi cricketers can take pride in, over the last decade or so. But he alone is not New Zealand cricket. But the above lines only highlight the contribution one single human being can make to the entire fraternity.

Likewise, a deeper look at the question from the fellow journalist makes you try and understand why it came. It came from a person that loves Nepali cricket. And is worried for it… Worries and planning do not make good bedfellows. They have to be kept aside, separately in water tight compartments, for worries may hamper plans. But you worry, if the road ahead looks foggy, sights gets blurred by the confusion that crossroads bring in your mind. And we can’t forget that Nepali cricket stands at the crossroads.

Crossroads it is, because a coach that has been there for 9 years (actually just a few months short of a decade), is leaving. Crossroads it is, because we haven’t yet groomed a person, who can take over half of the responsibilities that man was given. Crossroads it is, because we have a cricket board that is clearly divided, evident by the President and General Secretary hardly present together in planning meetings. Crossroads it is, because after a hard fight over the years we have achieved the status of number one ranking among Non-Test playing nations in Asia.

This is a fight that started nine years ago, when we got an old school coach from Sri Lanka that believed in teaching discipline first and then improving techniques. A coach who had played cricket at the highest level, the Test matches, and already coached a Test side… Those were the days we were only beginning to learn how to grip the willow.

Having been one of the first journalists to have met him in Kathmandu, I remember a fellow colleague asking Roy, “Sir, can you tell me about what kind of player you were?” This is perhaps the best example of what we, as journalists and nation, knew about cricket. Next to nothing…

Times change, the same way cricket pitch does over five days of Test cricket. And now we have a side that may not be world beaters, but are at least the top side in Asia (how many Non-Test playing cricket nations do we hear of outside Asia?). And that perhaps shows what Roy Dias has given us. His belief in his methods, his ways, of taking control, of mentoring the players, have been vindicated. The rankings will remain in place till the end of 2012, and Cricket Association of Nepal will be richer by 50 to 60K in USD, for infrastructure development. And for now on, we’d be dependent on a new coach, to take our team, hopefully, to newer heights. A new chapter has to begin. And this could be good grounds to begin it.

Under the mentorship of Roy Dias, we’ve won more matches than lost. And that should make a cricketing nation proud. Apart from wins, our cricketers have been our goodwill ambassadors to the places they’ve visited. In a recent meeting Dias told me, “It’s not only about winning or losing. It’s also about how you play. We can’t forget that Cricket is a gentleman’s game.”

That would be his contribution too, trying to bring in gentlemanliness back in cricket. And at the risk of sounding emotional, I would say, “Roy, for that at least, you’d be missed!”

(The article originally appeared in The Kathmandu Post, 18th December, 2010, in a weekly column of Yours Truly)

Good Bye, Roy!

If you've followed this week's sports pages and talk shows on TV closely, it would appear as if Nepali cricket is about to change. The scenes are changing and changing fast.

We are about to see the departmental teams (Police Club and Armed Police Force) in cricket. There are now 8 cricketing regions, up from existing 6. Not much needs to be said about the departmental teams and their contribution to Nepali sport. And to everybody's excitement, APF have announced their intentions for the domestic league by signing the top names in Nepali cricket already.

With the national team captain already in their ranks, APF is sure to draw a lot of attention, should competitive cricket be held on schedule. The arrival of two teams is sure to heat up the market for the cricketers, as some regions – which are more in number now – will also see the cricket fertile lands drying up for themselves. However, this is an age for competition and Darwin's theory - survival of the fittest – is sure to decide future of a number of cricketers.

However, all that could be termed secondary in light of a huge decision taken by the Cricket Association of Nepal. It has decided not to extend, or rather demand extension, of its long serving coach, Roy Luke Dias.

Roy entered Nepali cricket just before the Youth Asia Cup in 2001, as his wards won him the title, right on his birthday. He had told this scribe then, "This is the best gift the boys could have given me."

This was what the Nepali cricket had to offer him. Regards, a lot of it, and sometimes too much of it… Even to the extent of inspiring awe, from many, including players and cricket officials. And why not, during his playing days, he was regarded as the most complete Test batsman of Sri Lanka. Only recently, Sunil Gavaskar, who himself was a purists' delight as batsmen, was heard during commentary, "Roy Dias is the best Sri Lankan batsman that I have seen. Better than even modern day run machine Mahela Jayawardane."

A long stint at any post, cannot remain without controversies. And we would do well to remember that Dias was no God. He had been a taskmaster, forcing habits into his wards, for which he was not going to be given the title of Mr. Popular within the fraternity. And he knew it. That's because he was groomed that way. Sri Lanka was trying to make mark in world cricket during his younger days. 'Discipline is the most important virtue you can have,' he'd heard it many a times during his younger days. And naturally he tried to inculcate that into the people he was given charge of.

When he took the Nepali team to the U-19 World Cup in 2001, Martin Snedden, former New Zealand cricketer and tournament director asked him, "Roy, what are you doing in Nepal. You should be coaching Sri Lankan team." But he stayed with team Nepal.

At the risk of being controversial, I would say that Roy Dias was the best thing to happen to Nepali cricket, after Nepali boys learnt to take to the field with a willow and leather ball. Not only because he helped us learn to win, but also because we learnt our own inadequacies through him.

We never groomed proper coaches, despite him being there. We did not take help, despite knowing we should. We knew he was not going to be forever, despite him saying Nepal was his second home. Every player has a shelf life, more so a coach. Many a player don't last for half a decade, he's been a coach of our team for almost a decade. Our failings are in not being able to read the writing on the wall.

Dias going could mark an end of an era, and a new beginning. For he would go with his head held high, having earned a second home. For many, he would still hold the charm cricket had in non-commercial days.

But the question is: Have we thought properly about an alternative and transform Nepali cricket?

(The article appeared in a weekly column of yours truly, in The Kathmandu Post, Oct 2, 2010)

Learning from the Tiger

And Tiger Woods got divorced, officially. The man, who has dominated the sport - till date this century - cuts a lonely figure now on the greens, where once he prowled sans fear.

From the day he turned pro, he towered over all other sportsmen of the generation. A beacon for those who wanted to take up sport professionally. He was perfect, and made us feel that he could do no wrong. And we asked, "Is he human?"

Interestingly, almost on the eve of 'International Year of Tiger', he showed us signs that he was like one of us, giving in to the temptations. The frailty of human mind, and body, and the heart – just like us – could be seen in the Tiger. Woods was no longer the Tiger we knew, for his smile just before the putt, and the wave of hand just after, disappeared. The smiling assassin on the greens had lost his killer instinct. And soon, those who vowed to always stay with him disappeared too. A champion had become a challenger, a competitor, a mortal.

Woods was the biggest earning sportsperson in the world, and still retains most of it. But none of the millions he made teeing off can help his fall from grace. Many would talk of morality lessons, but the Tiger story tells the youngsters not to take their position for granted. The 'magic' that he created with his clubs has not left him, for they did not follow the sponsors – it was the sponsors who followed that 'magic'. But the problems that surround Woods would make it doubly hard for him to recreate the same aura that once made other competitors categorized as 'also ran'.

This is a case study, perhaps for sports psychologists. But also a case study every aspiring sportsperson should read. It tells you that nothing is permanent, neither success nor mental toughness or mental focus. In sports, everything is always on the verge of disintegration. You just need to blink your eyes a little longer.

The case is relevant in the Nepali context, as most players – even if they're national champs – are still, the 'aspirants'. In our participation at the World Cricket League Division 4, we were 'aspiring' to enter the World Cup.

Despite a couple of 'misses' at crucial matches, our cricketers have not fallen from grace, at least for now (Those who thought the World Cup berth was ours already, were daydreaming). But as we aspire to enter the World Cup, our players need to start thinking like the players at that level should. So far, this has not been seen. Right at the airport, after return, Nepali captain told the media, cricket has to be restructured in Nepal. Bravo Paras Khadka! Yes, cricket in Nepal has to be restructured, but airport is not the place to discuss it. And nor it is a smart idea to discuss it with the Press.

Paras is a smart cricketer, who believes in giving his best all the time. But he won't go very far, if he's not careful about what to speak and when, and of course – to whom. Any soundbite given to camera, any quote given to newspaper, goes in public sphere and does not remain your own. Cricket Association of Nepal may not be the best cricketing authority in the world – and needs restructuring for sure – but the dirty linen should not be washed in public. The national team captain definitely should be worried for facilities for cricketers and improvement of cricket in the country, but he also needs to be careful about every word he utters in public.

The batting debacle seen in recent championship has to be scrutinized, and tactics followed in Italy should be discussed, but with relevant people. Press will always question, but it is you who decides what to answer.

For now, Tiger Woods has chosen to remain silent, despite tabloids filling pages and selling extra copies talking about him. And who knows, one day – sooner than later – he may also bounce back, given he keeps his focus on the game.

Our cricketers too, will get another shot at the World Cup entrance.

But the question is, for Paras Khadka, how do we keep that focus?

(The article originally appeared in The Kathmandu Post, 27th August, 2010, in a weekly column of Yours Truly) 

Recent Coloumn on TKP

Of Diminishing returns and Hopes

- Somesh Verma

The past week was notable one for Nepali sports, where the two most popular team games in the country kept its viewers glued to news.
Our national cricket team, for all we might have written, showed us how inadequate we are, assessing our opponents. At the risk of vilifying our cricketers, we must say, we proved to be inadequate in our batting and the boys' temperament at foreign venues.
 It must be said that the problems lie more in the boys' temperament than the skills because USA, Italy, Cayman Islands, Argentina or Tanzania – who are playing in the World Cricket League Division 4 – are not a better team than ours, but are equals. The chinks in the batting line-up and their mental make-up have been exposed, and probably needs a careful dissection now, before it is too late. Already, the bunch of cricketers who participated at the Youth World Cup in 2002 in New Zealand and won quite a lot of accolades there, are ageing, and do not look a certainty in the line-up two years from now. Some of them are on the way out, due to diminishing returns they've shown lately, despite a bright start to their cricketing career.
The other and potentially promising was the story of football. The governing body of football in Nepal, ANFA, has announced its calendar for two years. But, as most our football stories go, it is potentially promising. And like every potentially promising movie, it also has chances of becoming a dud at the box-office.
The most promising part of the story was organizing a National League next year. For many football fans it may have come as a relief, as it was announced earlier, but due to 'various reasons', as ANFA statement read, the national league looked like never coming. For that at least, ANFA deserves to be praised – Better late than never.
The National League is to be played by top 10 teams within the country. And the most interesting concept in it is the introduction of 'Home and Away' games. The idea would sound great to the football romantics, as it also shows some intent on the part of ANFA that football in years to come, would be decentralized. This is one good way to expand the fan base of football, which already faces challenge from cricket fans, to the rural parts too. The bigger the fan base, the more number of youngsters would be trying to learn the game. The bigger the young player base, the better the competition. The better the competition, better would be the players representing the country. In long term, the idea would definitely bring in results, given everything goes the way fans dream of.
The announcement is definitely a move ahead from the status quo. This is one plan that aims to include clubs from outside the valley, make football more democratic. But there are several questions that spring up to the mind, even before championship is yet to be held.
The problem is, hardly much goes the way fans dream of, especially in Nepali football. In this plan too, there is every likelihood that it may not. Although a step in the right direction, 'Home and Away' is a tough management issue. It means more responsibility, more delegation of authority within the football governing body, and a challenge to bring in spectators to the stadium. The quality and the conditions of stadia out of the valley are not hidden from anyone. While many are used as grazing spot for uncared domestic animals, others are used for political purposed round the year. We cannot forget how many matches were played at the Dashrath stadium in Shahid Smarak League last time, and what became of the standard of game once the grass started to refuse to resurface, fearing pounding from boots round the clock, for weeks on end. The other question is  - How many teams have their own grounds to make it 'Home and Away'? Perhaps you don't even need to answer that.
Apart from the issue of the grounds, to manage National league, on the format that ANFA has promised, ANFA needs to restructure. The opaque working style and highly centralized character of the game's governing body is an impediment to make the game decentralized, and expanding its base. More and more people need to be involved in the decision making process, if we want to see 'smarter' decisions.
ANFA has kept the budget at 37.5 million, which looks like a little less money, given what it wants to achieve. The football fanatics fear that ANFA may say tomorrow that money wasn't enough to meet all the objectives stated.
But then, are we going to forgive it?

Times they are a' changin...

The government today announced that the office of President of Nepal will be outsourced to India as of March 29th‚ 2010 (coinciding intentionally with birthday of yours truly).

The statement said that the move is being made in order to save the president's salary‚ and also a result of billions of rupees in deficit expenditures, mostly managed coolly by the ever-donating-to-the-party-cadres Prime Minister, and other non-related overhead that the PMO and ministerial cabinet has incurred during meetings held over past 6 months, on how to save the government in case Mr. Koirala restarts adoring his daughter.

"We believe this is a wise financial move. The cost savings are huge‚" stated the Finance Minister, who's also considering getting an Indian voter's card with new-learnt tricks of govern-minting. "We cannot remain competitive on the world stage with the current level of cash outlay‚" Mr. Minister.

President Yadav, who went to India today itself, to meet a horde of other Yadavs, in a non-family reunion, was informed by email this morning of his termination. According to a higly-placed source, who shall here remain nameless and should have remained jobless – if he did not have right political contacts, preparations for the job move have been underway for some time.

Surinder Singh‚ who's a tele-operator for some non-descript call center in Mumbai, or maybe some other city, in India‚ will assume the office of President. Mr. Singh was born in Nepal, while his Indian parents were vacationing at Davies' Falls‚ in Pokhara‚ and fell to the temptation of increasing the family size there itself. According to the yet-to-be formulated citizenship law, his birth roots, and not dental, makes him eligible for the position. Mr. Singh shall be working from his call center itself, in Mumbai or wherever he is, and would not be occupying the Presidential Palace near a hospital.

However, he will receive a salary of NRs. 1500 a month‚ but of course perk involving covering the entire Nepali capital in a never ending traffic jam and security personnel running around to make him feel good at all times, even when he's teleconferencing with the Indian political leaders. Government has said that it would also help on reducing the ever increasing phone bills of the Nepal government, which are imperative since ministers can't function without the orders from the other side of the border.

Mr. Singh issued a statement, moments ahead of his nomination saying he always wanted to be a president, ever since he lost an election of his mohalla teen club in his earlier days. His statement, symbolically written, read : "WTF!!!"

In a telephone conversation with yours truly, he said that the time difference in both the countries, that of 15 minutes, will help him work for both the institutions, that of Nepal government, and his call center. However, yours truly suspected he was talking about the difference of 57 years in Nepali Calender and the Global Calender.

Another highly placed source, similar to that of the previous one, told yours truly that Mr. Singh may not be fully aware of all the issues involved in heading the federal state of Nepal, that should not be a problem as none of the other heads of state we had had ever been familiar with the issues either.

Meanwhile, the move has unilaterally been welcomed by the opposition party, namely the Maoists, headed by Mr. Fierce One, or Mr. Awesome, whichever scares you. Their single line welcome statement read: "We always supported the notion of President heading the government as well as state, the full executive President. Since he's from India, we won't have doubts or any problems negotiating with him."

In a separate development, sources close to the President-in-transition-or-in-translation informed that Mr. Yadav has been reported to be seeking consultancy from some company sending people to Qatar for work in some under paying company or a water-free ride to desert to take care of camels, whichever finds them first.

Disclaimer: The writer of this news story, does not claim any responsibility of its factual correctness, and all blame should go to the reader of the post, whether they want to trust it or not...

The Year that Was!

And finally, this year (2009) comes to an end. At one point, yours truly thought this might never come to an end at all, rather the year 2009 would continue till eternity, maybe even surpassing the 'doomsday' announced sometime in 2012. But then every good thing comes to an end – and rather surprisingly, bad ones last too, albeit longer – and this one had to bid goodbye too.

However, this year has been a notable one, for yours truly, and he is sure, as he always is (whether it's about his buffoonery or somebody else's), it would have been similar, if not the same, for you too. For this has been the year when entire Nepal was more interested in the exact site, setting and semantics of mole on Namrata Shrestha's parts-in privy (as it should have been) than it was on how to walk to office (or back) in case some nincompoop party announced a bandh at its whim.

Yours truly enjoyed this year to the fullest, just as he's been doing it for last 3 decades. For this was the year when Tiger Woods proved that he was human, and not God, which all of mortals thought he was. It was amazing why he chose to tell the world that he was human by philandering – or getting in the news a lá Paris Hilton, and not getting out-foccused by some passers-by while putting those ice-cool putts he's been doing over the years. But the great news is, the Tiger is human after all, with the fallibility that makes some of us look like four-footed.

Amazingly, this was the year when Sachin Tendulkar proved his God-like status yet again. This is another year where he made us question: Is he human after all? People like us (the ones who can't see others happy) would keenly be waiting for the day, when he too takes the Woods road, and tell us why we love those high ups falling down. But then… yours truly also fears that day.

This was the year when our own government took the issue of climate change to heights, literally. Just as we were thinking of minimizing our carbon footprints on earth by trying out eco-friendly ways, like closing down lights when we need them most – by increasing load shedding hours, our government took half the country to Everest Base Camp. Imagine the fuel consumption… And just when we imagined nobody can beat that, Nepal went ahead and outdid itself. With 650 people at Copenhagen, yours truly is sure, Danish government got scared thinking the bandh virus had spread to the Nordic countries too. You can bet, that was the reason China, more or less, got scared and started talking about complying with global emission cuts. (China, with some 50 times our population, amazingly, sent less than 50 people to the summit)

But then, for yours truly, the best part of the year was – when Comrade (pronounced – come raid) the Fierce One, decided to quit the all powerful seat he was holding, and called the government-in-his-absence the 'puppet'. The Fierce One, or Mr. Awesome – as called by many – along with his partner-in-crime Comrade Red Flag (Laldhwaj, in Nepali) outdid themselves – just as we tried to forget which side of the border they were in while those 'famous' treaties were signed – by saying they're ready to talk only to the forces south side of the border. Well, that said all, but we pretend we're yet to know – and that, is the best part yours truly saw in the year that's going by…

And lest I should forget, let's raise a toast saying…

Here's to the bright New Year

And a fond farewell to the Old;

Here's to the things that are yet to come

And the memories that we hold… Amen!!!

PS: Yours truly, will, hopefully, come up with better ones next year...

Masters of War

As yours truly writes this, he fears if the dust has already been settled on the issue revolving around the Army Chief (of course the official army of Nepal). But fearless that he pretends to be, yours truly is almost sure the last word is yet to be said on the issue – which he assumes would be a big Amen – as the powers that be pledge another round of commitment on national TVs with a look on their face, which say Man-You-Still-Believe-Me-Don’t-You? The whole TRP grabbing episode is likely to be followed by a more private-and-only-comrade –journos-invited-for drinks served by the yet unofficial but more influential combatant outfit (Did you ever witness former RNA men chanting slogans other than Yes Sir or Hajur Saap, whichever has easier spelling?).
As the major players (not to be mistaken by Major General kind of post) of the issue go round and round, probably trying to catch the other’s tail and stamp on it, with spiked football boots, hardly realizing it’s their own tail, until of course they holler with pain, we - yours truly along with thousands of mouthless people (nimukha janata) - are left wondering, is this the biggest shithole we are in, after we conveniently flayed the British troops and ended getting Malaria prone region as a reward? While the already-in-grave British Army question the abovementioned statement, we ignore it – saying this is as trivial an issue as writing a constitution, working for development, Bhutan acquiring nuclear arsenal from North Korea or President Obama signing stimulus package in an office where President Clinton got his package stimulated.
Move over trivial issues, for we are busy changing priests at a temple, crying foul over former King meeting the Indian leaders (and not the naxalites), bringing the country to a halt through strike, killing people and ‘absconding’ from the cantonment and removing the army chief, who’s hardly capable of spelling coup d’état, let alone actually staging it. We don’t mind talking of civilian supremacy when the second-in-command of the ministerial cabinet happens to have lost an election, and we ‘elect’ chairman of the constitutional council was thumped in the battle of ballots, in two places (following the age-old adage, ‘dono hathon me laddoo’).
We have never cared for such trivial issues and never will. Come 22nd century and we’d still be the same. By then the pigs would rule the world (which means we have a real chance of leading the world). After all, rhetoric is more important than the deeds. After all, nothing has really changed, apart from the actors. After all, we, the people, are still the same – the pawns.

Often yours truly is reminded of words written by that brilliant lyricist:

You fasten the triggers
For the others to fire
Then you set back and watch
When the death count gets higher
You hide in your mansion
As young people's blood
Flows out of their bodies
And is buried in the mud...

Come you masters of war!!!

So, who is the most powerful, after all?

Just like you, yours truly (because he is yours truly), has also heard about foreign interference on our nation. Just the other day the PM, or was it one of the many ex-PMs that we have, was speaking about some country interfering in Nepal.

The best thing is about this is that we often forget who says it. Forget the vested interest of the person saying it, we often take it for granted that we are being interfered. The worst part is, we’re becoming used to interference and also being told that we’re being interfered.

So the perpetual question arises. Who is the most powerful in Nepal? (Did you ever think that Come-raid Fierce One or Come-raid Red Undies or the Grand Old young Turk would feature in the list?) Is it India? Or US? Or is it EU, or UK, who had the best mimicking Ambassador in the history of this former Himalayan Kingdom? (Did you forget His Excellency something, who used to mimic the former King, in many interaction cocktails with the bigwig journos of dear Nepal?)

Well, yours truly’s estimates (often termed under or over estimates) and research (often termed time pass), says it is Sri Lanka. Or more precisely, the Sri Lankan President…

In case anybody thinks this is surprising, they just had to look at the lane dividers on the capital valley’s nasty lanes being removed, just because Mr. Prez wanted them to stay on the sides. Nothing till then, not even the strike organizers, passing cabs who hit those concrete materials pretty regularly – changing their shapes – could change the décor of city lanes. But Mr. Prez from a friendly nation could change that. Powerful, eh! (That reminds yours truly of a famous line from Mao – Power flows from the barrel of the gun!)

They say, truth is stranger than fiction. And sometimes true it seems. Just imagine, the same powerful person had to quit the Nepal tour midway through due to some shameless actions on the Lankan cricketers in some other friendly land. Now the question is: Who is more powerful? The Mr. Prez, who could move the concrete blocks from the middle of the road (where they probably deserved to be) or the terrorists who moved him back to his nation, in a rush of emergency?

And as that famous songster sang once… The answer my friend, is blowing in the wind…

Intelligence @ speed of Light... or faster???

It is sometimes surprising to see how quickly the intelligence travels. It is exciting, even intoxicating at times, when intelligence travels to and through the youngsters (compared to the older politicians we have, who are either incompetent or corrupt and sometimes both on the same day).

Yours truly was on the cricket ground to witness Nepal’s teenagers –this time, they say their age is actually Under-17 and not ‘thereabouts’, missing the mark by a small matter of 3-4 years – take on the mighty UAE (mighty might sometimes refer to the petro power too, not only the skills with red cherry and willowy staff) in the semi-final of what they term as the Elite Cup (the word ‘elite’ being the key, perhaps referring to so few teams participating and some pulling out).

And yours truly was glad, and sometimes elated, and sometimes both – not knowing which should have been preferred over other – so see the boys making huddle amidst the green to celebrate success. Give them a wicket – which sometimes rich kids from UAE resorted to – and they’d huddle to celebrate, enjoying and congratulating each others’ success. And the intelligence being spread is exactly that. An example of knowledge spreading through the idiot box... That too, at a time, when we complain that kids these days only learn how to swear through cricket on TV, while the international men in whites (these days, more in colours than the white flannel), indulge in the most dominant form of social interaction during the match – sledging the opponent and thereby improving upon already rich vocabulary of us Nepali nationals.

Not very long ago, yours truly was in his teens (well, give or take a few decades), and used to be involved with cricket (standing in the middle, raising his finger once in a while to point towards the rest room, while the people around yours truly used to jump in joy, and the helmet armed man with plasters around his legs and willow in hand walked away in disgust – sometimes saying the words yours truly could not comprehend, except that those generally started with the letter ‘F’). Those were the days, when celebrations were rare among teammates, except a glare or two shared with those on the opposing sides, apart from a few words expressed in appreciation of their efforts (wonder why they were said in a tone which had striking resemblance to the dialogues of Dharmendra, the actor, swearing at diminutive villains in those hindi cinemas).

Cut back to present: The scene at a cricket ground, which had been a regular pastime for yours truly once, was invigorating at its best. The intelligence, as said already, spreads fast, maybe at the speed of light, or maybe at the speed the television screen flickers. The best confirmation of the intelligence spread was the point, when Avinash Karn was bowling for his hat-trick, having taken two in previous two deliveries. With the crowd raising hell with noise reaching the crescendo, just before the delivery, Nepali close in fielders surrounded the hapless UAE batsman, just to earn the hat-trick for their bowler. The scene reminded yours truly of those great Test matches, where the tailenders were thrown bouncers, while the tall fieldsmen around him ready to gulp down a lollypop of a catch. Intelligence spreads fast – the point taken. The wicketkeeper in Akash Pariyar, and captain Prithu Baskota were evidently giving the television audience, if there were any, a show of how to marshal their resources and create pressure on the batsmen. A good example of how quickly lessons can be learnt, even by watching. There were flaws, failures in ground fielding, dropped catches, clueless bowling at times, but the unit looked well-oiled, throwing away the negativity. Where else, can they be learnt? By watching TV? Maybe, but only if you’re a keen watcher.

Post match, yours truly had a small chat with the eternal coach of the Nepali side, Roy Dias. As yours truly asked, “Disappointed with the team’s fielding?”

He retorted, “Yep, also the batting.” It’s impossible to please everyone…

Should it be mentioned that UAE opener, R. Abraham nearly won the match single handedly with 59 runs, and mostly during his stay threatening to take away the match from the home team. That, after Nepal had teetered to 144 – which was defendable eventually – in the semi-final.

Disclaimer: The picture has been stolen from a news portal that is being managed by a friend of yours truly... Having friends at right places truly works...

Buddha's birth, ain't he ours!!!

Believe it or not, yours truly, is, finally, coming out of hibernation. While some of you may feel that yours truly is considering being exported (after all, we are a nation of hibernation), the fact remains that the only alternative left for yours truly is being ‘im-ported’.

Not much water has flowed in Bagmati (not that much water is left there, anyways), since the all powerful ministerial cabinet of the former kingdom decided to do what no government has done ever before. That is, to ban a movie, namely ‘Chandni Chowk to China’ (See, we don’t have a censor board which functions). And that left yours truly, as your thought agent in times of thoughtlessness, wondering. It’s like going through déjà vu again, (imagine that).  And according to what was available on the newsprint (and some soundbites on the broadcast), yours truly is seemingly forming an opinion.

Well, amazingly, and alarmingly too, it’s about Buddha. Anyone living in this generation can be pretty sure that the ‘Light of Asia’ is fortunate not to live in the present age. Yours truly can bet few possessions that he has, on ‘the enlightened one’ would have committed suicide, seeing the fracas his name brings about in the 21^st century, which, of course, is not different that 20^th century (only that we expected it to be something else). Could there be a better way to celebrate his birth on this side of the border? Of course, not. If we could make his idols, despite him being against idol worship, of course we can go a step beyond, burning tyres and threatening someone, who probably are trying to ‘snatch’ away the ‘enlightened one’ from us. Violence, thou art here to stay (Whatever he preached 25 centuries ago)…

 If yours truly has his senses right, and the déjà vu he had is not misplaced, there was similar – albeit bigger on the streets – incident seen a few years ago, when one of the newspapers (pretty popular at that) had a news report where some ‘expert’ had claimed that the ‘Light of Asia’ was born across the border (despite our claims otherwise).

The news report was welcomed by other media and some goons with raised arms and a lot of gasoline used to set a few copies of the newspapers on the streets. And as the newspapers burned, so did the spirit of peace, so did the freedom of expression, so did the tolerance he died preaching, and so did the concept of ‘brotherhood’ among all living beings.

The only thought that baffles yours truly is: Is Buddha a property? Or do we not want to keep him under the wraps? For, yours truly always believed, Buddha is a thought; a prophecy; a charisma that this world needed during his times and more so, during the present age, where gloom has encircled the world. We probably needed to share his prophecy more to the world than ever before, especially when we are waking up after a ‘hibernation’ of thousands of deaths and disappearances.

The other questions that have started baffling yours truly are: Can we not claim that Jesus Christ as ours, just because what he preached has some value? For that can we not stake claim to Gandhi’s wisdom and non-violent ways, just because he lived across the border. Are we limiting the thought to the national boundaries, which were created by those who wanted power vested on themselves?

Going through the history books – and reading between the lines – tell us, national boundaries have always been a matter of pride for those, who used violence for their benefit, and always been changing. Amazing, we have much faith on the ways of violence, than peace, especially in the times of shrinking borders (as we use the cliché – the world is a global village). Borders were meant to be mental blocks, by the power wielders, to antagonize people at large, against the same species that lived across.

However, going by the prophecy that governs most of us, there are a few ways how we can deal with movies like these, which apparently ‘claim’ that the ‘enlightened one’ was born, not in this side of the border (of course, we conveniently can forget that it was not a government ‘claiming’ anything close to such). Some of the ways could be:

• -      Issue a birth certificate to the Buddha ‘posthumously’. The come-raid government can order ‘Prasuti Griha’ to issue him a birth certificate.
  
• -      Tell our ambassadors to hold press conferences in the counties they are (and want to remain there forever), criticizing the ‘friends’ across the borders, do not have a right to claim of Buddha’s birth.
  
• -      Declare the producers and more importantly, Akshay Kumar, the main protagonist of the movie, as terrorists, for trying to wrongly claim our ‘property’.
  
• -      Produce movies, where we claim ‘Mahavir’, ‘Sai Baba’, ‘Gandhi’ et al, were born this side of the border (we can tell ‘Prasuti Griha’ to do the needful of issuing birth certificates).
  

There could possibly be more ways to say, Buddha is ours. Anything involving violence to claim that the ‘non-violent’ one was ours, should be welcome. Wot say?

Or else, we could just follow his principles of peace and non-violence to prove we are his worthy  children. But yours truly is pretty sure, we don’t have many takers for that.