Chicks Are Insane

It's been one of those days...



Time to chill out and have a cold beer... everyone.

(pic via Vowe)

Space Cadet

Spacy

Not Getting Things Done

"In an unhealthy organization, if there's a good excuse not to do something, that something won't get done."

Picked this quote up from a good post over on Management by Baseball. Well I've got no excuse for today so it's time to get up and at em!

Spiegel's Survival

Here's a great article from the German paper Spiegel (via Gridskipper) which details a kind of "survival guide" for travellers in Germany. Although they forget to add the sprinter-speed required to bag your own groceries in the store before the clerk and customer behind you literally run you over, they do get one thing right: the shear lunacy of adherance to pedestrian light walks.

I can remember the first time I crossed a road before the crosswalk light turned green (no cars in sight), I had people from both sides pointing to the light shouting things in German no doubt thinking in their head "crazy foreigner"! I soon learned how strongly Germans felt about crossing the road before the walk light turned green. The climax (Oooh, nice utilization there!) came (again, utilization!) when at 2:30am in the morning on my way back from... well where ever, I saw people waiting at the corner of an intersection that was completely deserted for a 5-mile radius just for the little red crosswalk sign to turn green. At first I thought I was just hammered and imagining it... but I wasn't.

Those crazy Germans! And before you make the same shocking presumption about the photo they used for the article (below), let e just tell you that the girls are actually holding a tape measure around that guys waist... so forget whatever your dirty little minds were thinking ;-)

Stuttgart View

Downtown Stuttgart as seen from Birkenkopf:

Really?

Lance Bass of N' Sync fame has announced he's gay. No kidding. This just in, the earth is round and the sun is friggin' hot. That sound you heard is one hundred thousand little girls hearts breaking ;-)

The middle east crisis? The bloodletting in Congo? World poverty? Rampant disease? Nope, let's talk about the sexual orientation of a washed-up pop singer. The world is crazy.

Get Submerged

Get submerged.

Disturbing

Children signing bombs to be used against the enemy in war... WTF is going on in the world?!?

Party Announcement

I'm too lazy to re-write this e-mail as a post so here's the cut and paste deets:

Hey gang,

German is flying in and you’re all invited to chill here in happy-happy Hess Hamilton ;-)

Where: Hamilton. Seriously ;-) 100 Main st. E, 5 seconds from the Go station and crack house.

When: Saturday August 12th

What: Bitches N’ Ho’s, Ho’s N’ Bitches.

Who: Everyone’s invited, plenty of space in the living room for whoever needs to crash (bring a sleeping bag).

Women: Yes, bring some.

Whassup: We’re starting at 9:30am at “Out and About” pub watching the opening round of Bundesliga German soccer (until 12), chilling for lunch from 12-1ish, if we have enough interest we’ll set up a football game in the afternoon (RSVP), the BBQ starts around 4-5 and we’ll hit Hess later that night. Burgers and dogs are on me for those that RSVP by Sunday when I buy the food, BYOB/D/G although I’ll be cracking a bottle of scotch for all to share.

Whatsoever: There will be absolutely no "pretzel" demonstrations. If you don't know what that means, consider yourself lucky and walk away... slowly. We will however be busting out the "Stiefel". If you don't know what that means, then saddle up and get ready for a good time! :-)

Word: Up.

Human Life

Blows my mind:

• Around 30 to 40 people are killed every day in the current Israel/Lebanon conflict.
• About 100 people are killed every day in the violence in Iraq.
• And 1,200 people are killed every day in the war in the Congo.

Now which stories do you think you'll hear about most on the news/radio/paper? Makes you think...

(via Vowe, full story)

Developing Great Minds

I've got to love my alma mater - the University of Waterloo, as they just keep pumping out the creative genious types. Take for example these folks, who put their library time to good use... no not by studying, by arranging the window shutters to spell "fuck" on the side of the building!



Good old Dana Porter Library... I can't believe I actually graduated from that school considering I hadn't even entered this library (there are 2 big ones) until my third year! :-)

Update: Here's some more brain surgeons, they fill a soccer ball full of cement and encourage people to kick it. The future of the planet looks bright...

Skills

"You know, like nunchuck skills, bowhunting skills, computer hacking skills... Girls only want boyfriends who have great skills."

- Napoleon Dynamite

I don't have any numchuck skills either ;-)

Yes... I used to dance like that... ok I still do ;-)

Illusion of Life

Expand your mind and keep your opinions open... what you see isn't always what you get...

Fallen Rose

Saturday Scintillation

Here's what's sizzlin':

Crazy, crazy fishing.

Get what you want by knowing what you want and knowing how much you can expend to get it.

Some old website useability "don't"'s that still ring true today.

You're a shapechanger... actually we all are because of the seasons.

Who's your top 40? I know one thing, Maura Tierney and Elizabeth Shue are in my top 5 over forty or not! :-)



Farewell to a fantastic competitor that did his nation proud. He's the player I love to hate during the Bundesliga season and then rally behind for Germany internationals. We'll miss ya Titan...

Twenty-five money tips.

A nifty marketing idea, you know those hand stamps you get when entering a club?...



Germans can't possibly like Hasselhoff this much... or can they?!?

A great nutrition site that will break down calories and nutritional value for each type of food (great for comparing fast food meals and "what would be more nutritious from that store" utility).

Why isn't packaging more fun? Mmmm, I love ketchup...



This is how search engine spiders see EuroRoss.

Some more creative advertising, covering steaming New York City manhole covers with hot coffee ads:



From fishies to steaming manholes... what a day.

Stuttgart Sweetness

Stuttgart war viel schöner als Berlin...

Stormy Skies Ahead

After a severe heat wave this week the rain has finally arrived. There's lots going on elsewhere as well... I feel there's some stormy skies on the horizon... and I'm not talking about the weather...

Crazy?

I remember when, I remember, I remember when I lost my mind.
There was something so pleasant about that place.
Even your emotions have an echo,
In so much space.

And when you're out there,
Without care,
Yeah, I was out of touch.
But it wasn't because I didn't know enough.
I just knew too much.

Does that make me crazy?
Does that make me crazy?
Does that make me crazy?
Possibly...

And I hope that you are having the time of your life.
But think twice.
That's my only advice.

Come on now, who do you, who do you, who do you,
Who do you think you are?
Ha ha ha, bless your soul.
You really think you're in control?

Well, I think you're crazy.
I think you're crazy.
I think you're crazy.
Just like me...

My heroes had the heart to lose their lives out on a limb.
And all I remember,
Is thinking - I want to be like them.
Ever since I was little, ever since I was little, oh it looked like fun.
And it's no coincidence I've come,
And I can die when I'm done.

But maybe I'm crazy,
Maybe you're crazy,
Maybe we're crazy,
Probably...

- Gnarls Barkley

Fenced In

Don't keep it inside...

Deadly Sad Addictions

First I got sucked in with Laguna (Laguna Beach), and now I'm hooked on the spinoff "The Hills" featuring the main character from Laguna Season 1 - Lauren.

My name is Ross... sniffle, sniffle... and I am addicted to crappy reality television. ;-)



For my fellow addicts out there, will someone please tell Lauren to wake up and smell the roses! She should be with me anyways ;-)

Drunken Laughter

A great interview segment by Ali G with Posh and Beckham. Those girls can certainly party!

Damn Hot!

Damn, you'd think I was in Canada with these boys:

I think not, it's like 400 degrees here today. Damn it's hot!

(ps> this post sucks... because it's too damn hot to write something smart-assy!)

Human Space Invaders

Very cool short vid if you're a fan of the old space invaders game.

Find X

(via Awa)

P1510D unveiling

A public service announcement to the non-geek readers of my blog: stop reading this entry right now and move on to the next. For the rest of my nerd brethren, check out the unboxing of my new Fijitsu P1510D mini-tablet. After 2 days of calling to work through a processing error and 6 business days my packages finally arrived:



So far, so good. The white package is the extra battery I ordered. Yes this is a totally unnecessary picture ;-)



The open box:



The total package:



A beautiful sight, time to start breaking it in...

Unendlich

Meine Augen suchen Wasser in der Wüste
Meine Füße tragen lange schon den Durst
Ich bin gefallen und blieb liegen
Stand auf und wollte siegen Unendlich
Denn ich schmeck das Meer ist nicht mehr weit

Es ist schwer die Spur im Sand zu finden
Denn Staub und Sturm stehlen mir die Sicht
Doch wie ein warmer Sommerregen
Regnest du auf mein Leben wie ein Herr aus Tropfen auf den heißen Stein

Und wir war’n unendlich
Und das Wasser legte sich auf uns’re Haut
Um uns alles vergänglich
Das behalten wir für uns und den Tag tragen wir bis ins Grab

Für den Augenblick hielten wir die Luft an
Und zusammen tauchten wir bis auf den Grund
Wir ließen uns treiben mit dem Strom der Gezeiten Alle
Wir strandeten, sind angekommen

Und wir war’n unendlich
Denn das Wasser legte sich auf uns’re Haut
Um uns alles vergänglich
Das behalten wir für uns und den Tag tragen wir bis ins Grab

Es ist schwer den Weg im Sand zu finden
Denn Staub und Sturm stehlen dir die Sicht
Doch jeder braucht den Sommerregen
Was wäre ohne ihn das Leben
Jeder brauch ein Stück Unendlichkeit

Und wir war’n unendlich
Denn das Wasser legte sich auf uns’re Haut
Um uns alles vergänglich
Das behalten wir für uns und den Tag tragen wir bis ins Grab

- Silbermond

Deadwood Deeds

If you don't know what Deadwood is then head to your favorite media catcher and check it out (now 6 episodes into season 2). Not only is it great drama, it has filled the upcoming void the Sopranos will leave after this season (it's already starting to go downhill). Deadwood's a little crude for some, but if you can hack through the profanity and gutteral English you've got one hell of a piece of programming :-)

Best line in the last episode of Deadwood and the reason for my Cheerios being spit all over the wall:

Cowboy 1: "Moring."
Cowboy 2: "Good morning... best time to go fuck yourslf!"

Ok, you had to be there... hilarious! :-)

Not My Problem

Don't blame me for this, blame Stevie J. He sends them to me and I'm too weak not to laugh, pee and post ;-)

Of course you can also see some comedy with a little less vulgarity and in the spirit of World Cup soccer (thanks to Dutchman, Gemmy and Ty who all sent this to me). To be clear, this video is not a joke, this is apparently how all soccer teams must be practicing from what I can tell ;-) Although I will say that many of the WC games were pleasently light on the diving.

Super Mario Walk-A-Thon

If you grew up in North America you remember when the Nintendo came out and the totally addicting Super Mario Bro's game. I spent years playing that game... and was never any good at it at all :-)

Who knew you could go through the entire game (with warps) without using the speed "B button" at all and in under 10 mins!

Wow. Mad gaming skills.

Et Tu ZiZu?

Alot has been written about last weeks World Cup final and specifically Zidane's superfly headbutt that ultimatly hurt France's chances at winning the cup. The guy he hit Materazzi admitted he insulted Zidane before the France captain head-butted him, but denied calling him a "terrorist":

"I did insult him, it's true," Materazzi said in Tuesday's Gazzetta dello Sport.
"But I categorically did not call him a terrorist. I'm not cultured and I don't
even know what an Islamic terrorist is."

What a fucking joke. What Zidane did was wrong, but this guy Materazzi symbolizes alot of what is wrong with soccer, we'll see if he gets his after the inquiry.

This report also shows the character of another player who plays soccer the way it should not be played, Christiana Ronaldo of Protugal. This guy is the softest crybaby on the field. Even his club teammates think his standards of diving and crying go way beyond what is "acceptable" for soccer:

"A training ground spat with teammate Cristiano Ronaldo reportedly left the
Portuguese winger in tears"

Of course cheating, drugs and collusion will eventually ruin sports if they're not careful. Incidents like this make me sick. Instead of diving, cheating or crying soccer players should concentrate on another skill they perform well... entertaining us with skill!

OR with antics:



The sport of soccer will not get better until players start putting the team above themselves. In hockey when you score a goal you race to your teammates to celebrate. In soccer you run away from your other teammates. That about says it all.

Update: Take a look at the replay on Rooney's red card, totally unintentional. Even worse, the actions of Ronaldo before and during the game (wait until the end of the clip). Rooney, when the Premiership season begins and you find yourself wearing the same Manchester United jersey as Rondalcry... woop his ass!

Another Marketer Fired

When advertising goes wrong. Hilarious.

(pic via Vowe)

Fire Rainbow

The rarest type of naturally occuring atmospheric phenomena, the "fire rainbow":

Comedians Crying

When you're a comedian this can be considered one... very... bad... day on the job.

Not all comedians laugh all the time... neither can we all.

Inside

Inside

You said I'm not the one inside of you,
But even if I was,
What could I do?
You've already made up your mind,
I'm out of your life...

Promises that were made,
Are broken.
Like the words we all take,
For granted.
And you were the song,
And I hope you run.

You said I'm not the one inside of you,
But even if I was,
What could I do?
You've already made up your mind,
I'm out of your life.

I'm out of your life... forever.

I pretend that you're here,
Beside me.
I feel you breathe on my neck,
When I speak.
I waited alone,
I hope you run.

You said I'm not the one inside of you,
But even if I was,
What could I do?
You've already made up your mind,
I'm out of your life...

Were you calling my name,
When I go to sleep?
Were you calling my name,
Were you calling me?
[2]

Forever...

You said I'm not the one inside of you,
But even if I was,
What could I do?
You've already made up your mind,
I'm out of your life...

I'm out of your life,
I'm out of your life,
I'm not in your life...

- Sanity

Note: I had trouble finding the album/artist online but eventually discovered they have 3 albums and this track (Inside) was from their second album released last year called "epoch".

Tags: Sanity, Inside, Lyrics

Kirschberg Curfew

No trip to Germany is complete without a Thursday night out in Kirschberg at the butcher. Now We've been going there upwards of 6 years now, usually the trip starts on a Thursday in Kirschberg and ends a Sunday (I require a min 3 day recovery from a butcher night to fly!).

Over the course of those years we've come to enjoy great food, great service (a rarity for Germany), cold beers and great company. Naturally we have a favorite spot, right in the corner benches by the front door. One problem... that's also the favorite seat of the mayor of the town.

Some background info. Every night after the butcher we head up to the hill overlooking the city and chill out watching the town, landschaft, sunrise, whatever. Knowing that development in small outskirt towns in Germany is very rare and controlled it came to some surprise that about 3 years ago there was a small housing development going up on the edge of town near the hill. No problem there... except that one of the houses, the one next to the end house of the new dev. just happened to also block a tiny part of the view of the village which had the clock tower (very helpful when sitting outside for hours having beers!). That totally sucked! How could the mayor possibly approve a development that obscured, even just a weeny teeny bit, the view of the village from the hill. Well that same mayor of course would approve that house if they themselves decided to live in it!! Bastard!!

Ok so that sets the stage. That night going to the butcher promised to be another great night. When we arrive everything is great, the butcher's got the meat cooking and the beer poured before the door even opens all the way :-) One thing he mentions... the mayor has "reserved" that table for the night. YEAH RIGHT!

Long story short, take a look at the pics below to see who holds more sway at the restaurant and got the choice spot (and meat that night by the way, WOW was it good!). Sorry for how blurry the pics are, they were all like that on the reel and I swear they looked straight that night! ;-)

This would be the victor in the corner spot with the mayor on the right relegated to eating his diner on the corner of the center table :-)



Volker wanted in on that action, he's not much of a mayor fan either and having a foreigner take the spot was quite a piece of gossip for the morning hags:



The crew with the Butcher (to my left, your right). Four lads, four beers, Thurs at the butcher. Some things never change:



Getting our cheering ready for the big 3rd place game (Germany won!) in 2 days that would happen 20km away in downtown Stuttgart. I guess we needed to practice our camerawork a little too ;-)



A little rain isn't going to stop our 3am trek to the hill! See you guys Sunday! ;-)

Free Corn Syrup

A train de-railed very close to Hamilton today. Thankfully noone was hurt, however if you wanna hook yourself up with some free corn syrup that spilled out of one of the carts... ;-)

T for Testosterone

Looking to beef up your sex life? Maybe a shot of testosterone will do the trick. Act fast though, you might not live as long to enjoy it!



Love that pic, which reminds me that I haven't seen the new "Superman Returns" movie which I heard is ok. Off to internet downloading... ;-)

Smoke Stop

Sometimes you've just GOT to pull over and have a smoke ;-)



(this was taken in Munich after the big 4-0 Germany win over Sweden... yes the downtown was jammed packed with people!)

Elevator Snob

Just great.

I was on the elevator as the doors were closing and then someone called out to hold it. Not only were the doors already 3/4 shut but I also made a dash for the "door open" button but missed so the doors closed... but not before the person was able to get a glance at who I was, forever making me "the evil guy who did not hold the door for me".

Just great, I'll never have another co-worker talk to me again. If you need to get ahold of me in the future please don't hesitate to e-mail me at my new address: EvilElevatorGuy@Dickhead.com

Man Down!

Well we've lost another one, congrats to Jack on taking the leap to the other side and putting on the marriage chains ;-) Totally just joking, I'm so happy for ya dude, any girl who can put up with those moves you call "dancing" must be one A+ chick ;-)

I was going through some old photos of us to post and came across the bachelor party pics, I can't beleive I didn't post any of em before! Nothing incriminating here, but a great night had by all.

It all started with a little poker:



The sign says it all:



That big-ass shot looks to be a bit of a challenge ;-)



Ladies try and control yourselves!



Ass and Class side by each :-)



The night was over at 8:30pm... just joking... 8:30am:



Once again congrats Jack + significant other, you guys'll be great together!